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The Day My Heart Was Broken

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This topic really brings back too much painful memories and tears. I am someone who doesn't fall in love easily but when I do, I fall hard and that's why the impact hurts if it ends.

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I've dated different types of guys in the past, majority of them fall in the bad boys category and I've lost count of how many times I got my heart broken. Don’t tell me “serve you right for picking the bad boys, you reap what you sow.” Fuck off! You can choose who to make out with but not who to fall in love with. Sometimes it just happens… If you’ve dated before, you should know that the beginning of the dating stage is always perfect, followed by Honey Moon period where the both of you will agree on everything, do same activities together or perhaps he'll even travel from west to east just to eat McDonald's at your place - all these can be filled with so much happiness. But after you’ve been together for a while, that’s when the reality sets in. BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU GET COMFORTABLE AFTER AWHILE. However, I don’t think that it’s right to dump someone just because of trivial issues. Unless he did something that you can’t forgive him for and overlook it.

For me, my past relationships all ended in a clean, obvious way: physical abuse, another woman, lack of trust, possessive and the list goes on.

What happened was this ex-boyfriend of mine cheated on me and use other lies to cover up despite knowing that I have the edvidence. These are the type of men who beg me to leave, and most of the time I'll leave when I have the chance to. Because dragging it wouldn't make any different, the first time is a mistake, second time is a choice. I’m sure you heard of that before.

Doesn’t it break your heart when someone you trusted has lied to you? Sure, there are some people who can forgive their partner for cheating and lying but to me I think that trust is like a mirror, you can fix it when it’s broken, but you will still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection :)

I got no respect for cheaters, sorry. NOT!

Lies, physical abuse all these reminded me too much of my childhood. As my biological dad used to be one and I've seen how much my mom had suffered when she braced herself during the long-gone marriage because my sister (she passed away when she was 27 years old) and I were in a "very vulnerable" position as we were too young at that time. The three of us went through a lot together, and all those bad memories made me decide to never date someone that resembles him, neither will I marry someone like him who will crush my future kids' childhood/dream.

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Never thought that I'll actually tell you guys something so personal about myself...

Note: I don't blame my mom, I could tell that she loved my dad and she really did try her best to salvage the marriage. She gave him more chances than he deserved. Thank you mom for being such a strong woman in my life. I know bringing up a rebellious problematic child like me wasn’t easy. <3

Sorry that it kinda went off topic, but I don’t see any meaning in talking about how I met him and telling an old grandmother's story. As I felt that, all the relationship issues sort of have a cycle. Eg. Girl meets boy, boy loves girl, they get together, boy cheats on girl, girl cries a pacific ocean, girl moves on and bye bye.

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Remember girls, you are meant to be happy, and the time will come when you’ll meet someone that would walk you out of your scars and fears. A few heart breaks wouldn’t kill you, never tell yourself that “I can’t live without him”, you WILL live and you will find the right man when the time is right.

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Good Luck!


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