How do successful single parents keep it all together? Author, blogger and single mom Christine Coppa shares her advice for surviving (and thriving) as a single parent.
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1. Seek Out Role Models
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Single parents and their kids can flourish, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. Make a list of single parents—or children raised by a single parent—who inspire you, and refer to it when you’re having a rough day. Some of the people on my list include President Obama, who was raised by his single mom and grandparents; President Clinton, who was brought up primarily by his mom; and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’m not just inspired by celebrities though; my real life friend Matt who blogs at mattlogelin.com about unexpected single fatherhood is another confidence booster for me. Seeing all of these success stories and many more unfold before my eyes is proof that single parenthood is not only manageable, but an incredible gift that allows me to shape my son into a wonderful human being.
2. Find A Work Schedule That Suits Your Family
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As a freelance writer, I’m lucky to work from home, but it wasn’t always this way. I used to be on staff at a magazine where I worked long hours that didn’t really match up well with JD’s daycare pickup. So, I took a deep breath and asked my boss if I could work a slightly different schedule where I came in earlier but left in time to get my son from daycare. My boss was understanding and allowed me to work a more convenient shift. Don’t be afraid to express your needs to your employer, or reveal you’re a single parent, because most bosses want to work with you, not against you. You can also check out the best companies for working mothers to target your job search to companies with family-friendly benefits.
3. Schedule Kid-Free Time
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I’m not saying you have to go on a date, or even out for girls night. But I am saying there is no harm in getting a babysitter so you can enjoy a pedicure or trip to the bookstore when you don’t go near the children’s section. You have to remember that married couples have their date nights, or at least times where they hand the kids off to each other. Single motherhood is hard work and you deserve time off every once in a while. Can’t spring for a sitter? Arrange a childcare swap with a mom friend you trust.
4. Don’t Obsess About Things You Can’t Control
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No one can force your child’s other parent to visit. You can’t help it if he promises to show up for your child’s big game and doesn’t. These are the other parent’s issues—not yours, so don’t lose sleep over it. Instead, focus on what you can control and that is what kind of parent you are.
5. Count to 10
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It’s easy to lose your cool when you have to be “on” all the time. Single parents have no one to trade off with when they’re about to lose their marbles over yet another bowl of peas thrown on the floor. Don’t yell, because it’s not healthy for the child and you’ll regret it afterward. Instead, walk away and count to 10 or just laugh it off. You’ll feel better in a minute, and ready to face the peas.
Read more at Parenting.