Relationship quarrels or conflicts usually occur because of a few things; misunderstandings, expectations aren’t met and disagreement. Most of the people say there bound to be some argument in order for the relationship to be healthy, however it is also because of the same thing relationships fall apart. Remember no matter how perfectly matched you guys are, it is universally impossible (or very rare) for two people to think the same in every way.
In this article, I am going to share with you my way of dealing with the situation every time things get heated up.
• Emotions and the actual problem.
When there’s an argument, we must differentiate between our own emotions and the current situation. Anger is normal, but most of the times it is the sole reason that a casual bicker could end up World War III. When you’re affected by anger, your capability to think clearly is blurred and you forgot the most important thing then is to resolve the issue. When that happens, you start to become a little irrational and produce a lot of invalid argument which brings the situation nowhere. So what do you do?
Chill out; manage your own emotions first. Before your anger start bursting out of your head, go take a time-out to breathe and deal with the stress. When you think that you’re ready, sit down and discuss calmly. It may sound easy but when you’re caught in that exact situation it’s definitely not, the tendency to just let the anger out is pretty immense. If you manage to overcome your anger, you’ll find yourself having a hell lot of easier time solving the argument.
• Remember the most important thing is to resolve the issue, not winning the fight.
Sometimes when thing get heated up, you subconsciously want to be the one that is wins that argument. Try to keep in mind solving the issue is your only objective.
• Put yourself in your significant other’s shoes.
Try to understand the situation from his/her point of view in the fight and understand the reason for the way they are reacting or expressing themselves.
• Not all disagreement needs to be an argument.
Is this matter really worth the fight? Or it shouldn’t even be significant enough to become an argument. Try not to start a fight at every small matter, only stand your ground and make necessary argument when it’s something you feel strongly about.
• Let bygones be bygones.
In an argument, try to not bring up the past. The more you bring up the past in a quarrel the worse it gets, which will end up becoming an infinite loop of never-ending fight. So whatever happened before shall remain back then, never bring it with you. Same goes for the quarrel now, once it’s resolved, throw it out.
Of all the ways I’ve tried, the 5 listed above are the most useful ways in overcoming conflicts for me personally. These methods have not only made the relationship healthier but also make me as a better person.