I’ve experienced it before… break up season. One friend in the group dumps her boyfriend, and pretty soon one by one other relationships around her fall apart. Are break ups contagious?
If your friends have gone through a divorce or breakup in the recent past then you have a good reason to be concerned about your relationship as you are likely to tow the same path, compared to someone who is not in the same situation. People whose friends are divorced are 75% more likely to experience divorce in their own relationship. Even when it is a friend's friend who got divorced, they are still at a 33% risk of ending their own relationships. This is according to a research carried out in America.
A woman in a healthy relationship will not seek for a divorce just because her friend has just gotten a divorce. However, women who gather together tend to discuss things that are not going on well in their own relationship. These moments of interactions if not checked will plant a seeds of doubt which will continue to increase until it destroys a thriving relationship. And if your relationship is already on the verge of breaking down, being around people who have taken the ‘break up way out’ won’t help your relationship.
Although breakups are not like communicable diseases which one can contract, attitudes surrounding divorce and breakups can be transmitted around social circles. This also holds true for other habits such as infidelity and drinking.
At other times, many breakups in social groups occur as a result of the belief that the grass is greener on the other side. This means seeing others becoming happy as a result of a particular decision they took in their own relationships and believing that the same decision will make you happy.
Since knowing people who are divorced may be detrimental to your relationship, you do not necessarily have to get rid of your friends when their relationships break down. However, it is important that you make concerted effort to keep yourself and your relationship away from negativity. This means that you do not have to ditch your friends who have gone through a divorce but bear in mind that their behaviors and attitudes can adversely affect your own relationship. Knowing that your relationship is at risk will help you in protecting it and becoming more vigilant.
As a woman, when doubts about her relationships begins to rear its ugly head, instead of running to friends, consult with your partner and talk to them about your insecurities and fears.