Mothers are strong
It has been a good four and a half years since our dear son entered and totally changed our lives. Looking back, I cannot help but have mixed feelings over the first year I became a mother. I do not really remember the bad but if I think hard enough then I would recall the first six months as hell, peppered with little sweet moments when he does something cute, but most of it was just trying to function and trudge through the day despite severe fatigue. Being a mother is a tough job, especially when you are the main caregiver.
When people talk about motherhood, they do not remember or perhaps choose not to remember the bad. Besides, no one really wants to talk about or hear about the grueling hours spent in labor, how did the episiotomy go through or the nights spent trying to get your crying baby to just stop. I recall my then baby crying for hours at times, was it colic or something else, I never found out. I remember feeling the exasperation, which resulted in a couple of arguments with the husband. I am so glad we are over that stage of life, I am thankful and blessed that despite all that I did not suffer from postpartum depression and that my marriage is still in intact. Mothers are such wonderful and strong beings to have endured all that.
Patience is possible
I gave up my job shortly before his first birthday, as I wanted to spend more time with my son. Those were the best two years of our lives together, watching him grow up and learn new things, taught me that patience is possible. And as he has grown into a preschooler with a sharp tongue now, being patient is a much-needed trait in our daily lives than just a mere reminder. I am not even sure how are we going to survive through puberty and teenage-hood. But I am sure I need a whole cocktail of patience when the time comes.
Mothers are full of love
One thing I did not expect after becoming a mother was being capable of loving another being so much. I know that there are experts and counsellors that encourage putting your spouse first because happy parents equal to happy children. However, I believe that 90% of the mothers on my Facebook alone probably put their children first.
I find myself thinking twice over purchases for myself but not if they are meant for him. I splurge on toys, clothes and preschool activities because he enjoys them. Most importantly, motherhood taught me to love unconditionally. This is something, which I often tell my boy and remind him of. That I love him no matter what, even when he is misbehaving and when I am upset, I still love him.
Do not lose that spark
When you spend most of your time with your child, you start to see the world through their eyes. And this childlike innocence, which you once had and lost, somehow seems to make its way back to you in little bits. It is amazing to see how much love and compassion a little child has for others around him, including the strangers and even stray animals.
Sometimes, as adults, it feels as though we have lost our spark and zest for life, we stick to our dead-end jobs for the sake of money. We complain but do nothing about it. We no longer view the world with the renewed wonders of a child; we are unable to find joy in even the simplest of things. It is time to remind ourselves that it fine to let loose and relax at times. How can we teach our young to reach for the stars, to be happy and love freely when we do not show these in examples through ourselves?
Yes, having kids bring joy and laughter but there are also the meltdowns too. Do not let those cute photos on social media fool you. The reality is that motherhood is tough but we rise up to the occasion.