Gather ’round, my friends, for there is another chapter in this tale as old as time. How foolish of I to think that The Saga of Hiddleswift was done and over with, but you never know when someone is going to reopen that book, and release a brand new song that really sounds a lot like Taylor Swift singing about Tom Hiddleston.
Late Thursday night, Swift dropped a brand new single from her upcoming album, Reputation. The song, “Gorgeous,” is — you guessed it!! — gorgeous, and I’m not ashamed to admit that even after all these years (and all the #drama) I unabashedly love Taylor Swift.
On the track, she sings about meeting a new dude, and being sad that the two of them aren’t together. The chorus goes like this: “You’re so gorgeous / I can’t say anything to your face / ’cause look at your face.”
She never directly states that the song is about ex-bae Tom Hiddleston, because Tay works in mysterious ways, but come on. Look at his face. If you came face to face with Tom Hiddleston, could you say anything to his face? No. BECAUSE LOOK AT HIS FACE:
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LOOK AT IT:
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You try and tell me that you haven’t, at least once, fallen into a deep Google image search looking at Hiddleston’s near-perfect mug:
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At one point on the track, Swift sings about this unnamed guy’s “ocean blue eyes,” and while I cannot confirm the actual hue of Hiddleson’s eyes, a safe guess would be “ocean blue.”
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While I firmly believe the song is about Hiddleston, and I refuse to believe otherwise, many are convinced that it’s actually about Swift’s new BF, Joe Alwyn. And while, sure, okay, Alwyn is also gorgeous, and British, and has blue eyes, I could probably carry on some sort of small talk with him about the weather and his family and maybe our favourite TV shows. I could not do that with Hiddleston, because he is Loki of Asgard.
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Also remember that time when his butt was too much for AMC, and they censored it? Swift doesn’t sing about his butt in the song, but she could have. On a daily basis, I am also furious for Hiddleston making me feel this way.
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But what can I say?
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I wish there was a quick refrain on “Gorgeous” about that one time Hiddleston and Carrie Fisher (and Gary!!) walked the red carpet, because that song would be a SHOO-IN for at least like six Grammys.
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Anyway. Thinking about the uncoupling of Swift and Hiddleston makes me so happy I turn back to sad. There’s nothing I hate more than the fact I can’t have Hiddleston, too, Tay.
By Rachel Paige
This article first appeared in Hello Giggles.