BRIDEZILLA: One ridiculous spoiled bitch that thinks she is the center of the universe, just because her "show" (the wedding) is 18 months from now. Everyone else in the world has to drop everything and be at the beck and call of this prime-donna or so it seems, in her opinion at least.
Weddings can be stressful. We have all been there. You want everything to be perfect and most brides (apart from their mothers) call the shots when it comes to their special day. This to a large extent is understandable. But if your bff resigns from her post as maid of honor and your caterer returns you the full payment, you have entered BRIDEZILLA zombieland. And everybody avoids (or wants to kill) the zombie.
A wedding is one day and a marriage is a lifetime. Don't make your man think twice on whom he is marrying! Here are some signs that you might be a Bridezilla.
You are thinking of getting loans for your wedding.
You want crystal dinner ware and a $150 per-person feast. But seriously, can any of you or your/his parents afford them? Don't be in a position where both you and your fiancé have to extend your already over extended draft limit just to feed your fantasy wedding dream. You want to enjoy the days after your wedding, not argue about debts from the wedding. Happily InDebt After? Not.
You're Angry. All the Time.
You used to get along well with everyone. But since you got engaged, you're spewing (inventing even) colorful four-letter words – ridiculous temper-throwing tantrums and occasional screaming included. You’re making people say “We Don’t!” to your “I Do.”
Everything and everyone must be picture perfect
You were mad furious when your bridesmaid told you she MIGHT be preggers because you’re afraid she will "stand out" in the videos and photos. And please don’t send a waxing gift card to her that reads "upper lip." She’s having a tough time being a bridesmaid to the last of the dinosaurs already!
Your Bridesmaids are giving you the cold shoulder
You used to be best friends but now your bridesmaids are avoiding you and God forbid, even blocked you on Facebook! Oh the audacity but… WHY?! Well if you hadn’t insisted on that bank-breaking bridesmaid dress they HAVE to wear and that expensive swanky nightclub for your hen party that they’ve got to chip in for, maybe you wouldn’t be a twat on their twitters.
You Don't Have Time for Anyone (or Anything) Else
Your bbf needs a listening ear and comforting shoulders about a nasty break up. Before she’s even begun, you start flooding and pouring your wedding worries on her, making the conversation about YOU. At work, you can’t concentrate. You tell your boss you have to take some days off for the month and the next and the next (till your big day) because you have so much wedding planning to do. Best you include job-hunting in your plans as well.
You have not met your fiancé for weeks!
You let your fiancé know that you’d have to cancel lunch again. Make that –
you TEXT your fiancé to let him know that you can’t make it for lunch, ending with a sad emoticon, as if it makes up for not actually calling and speaking. Do take time off from big-day tasks to spend regular old girlfriend-boyfriend time together; it’ll do both of you good.
“The party you’re calling is not available, please try again NEVER.”
No one is picking up or returning your calls. And just as you think it can’t get any worse, your caterer returns your deposit and your wedding planner has crossed your wedding out from her plans. Looks like you’re left in the dark ages, dear Bridezilla.
Have you made anyone cry yet?
You’re screaming your lungs out at the florist insisting that she finds multi-hued roses that change with the time of the day and to the musical notes on your “walking down the aisle” tune. You’ve gone too far this time, missy!
All about YOUR wedding
In conversations, text messages and social media updates, you always end up talking about your upcoming wedding. STOP IT! Everyone knows you’re getting married. If you’re still adamant, why not take out an ad in the papers or a series of ads and oh oh commission someone to do a film and release it on theatres nationwide! Pfft.
YOUR word on speeches…
Having people make a speech about you on your big day can be heartwarming. But subjecting them to submit their speeches a month in advance so that you can edit out the unnecessary bits is blood boiling.
Crash Dieting to a wedding crash
Yes, you want to look radiant like a princess on your wedding day but not at the extent of your health. Just watch your carbs, sugar intake and exercise more. The idea is for you to look like a bride and not like something that’s found in a morgue. And please, do NOT ask your bridesmaids to lose weight.
Seriously.
Your wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. It’s supposed to be memorable for the right reasons. So take a deep breath and think of your wellness for a second.
When it comes to looking beautiful for the big day, it is best to commence beauty regimes long before the wedding at least 3 to 6 months in advance. So if you are planning for your wedding towards the end of this year, it’s good to start your treatments now.
The Bridal “I Do” package consists of a variety of treatments that focuses on the eyes and face. Privé Clinic’s popular Laser White Facetherapy treatment eliminates stubborn pigmentation, brown spots and acne marks via a five-step system. Featuring Alpha-Litamin, a Nobel Prize discovery that has 100 times stronger antioxidant efficacy than Vitamin C, together with a variety of other lightening actives, they result in an overall clearer and whiter complexion.
In addition, the clinic’s Vita C Facetherapy utilises a deep pore cleansing mask to slough off the dead skin and infuse Vitamin C into skin to promote cell regeneration and re-growth. This results in an instant radiant glow. Last but not least, tighten and firm skin around the eye area with ST Refirme Eye and wave good bye to dark eye circles and puffy eyes.
Privé Clinic’s Bridal “Slim Fit” package consists of an intense 8 sessions of Laser Lipo designed to help you lose 1 dress size. Laser Lipo is a safe, revolutionary system that uses infra-red lasers for smoothing cellulite fat reduction and body shaping treatments.
Comfortable and painless, Laser Lipo treatment creates a chemical signal and breaks down stored triglycerides into free fatty acids and glycerol, which are then released through the cell membranes. The process of photobiomodulation in the fat cells mimics your body’s natural process of releasing stored fats content that are transported around the body to tissues where it will be “burned off” during a period of post-treatment exercise.
The Bridal “Sexy Back” package consists of chemical peels applied to the skin to remove the old and damaged top layers of the skin. This treatment helps to firm skin and encourage skin renewal. Supplementing it with an intense Phototherapy light technology session leaves the skin radiant looking.
The Bridal “Body Laser Smoothie” package uses advance technology Revlite Laser. The laser emits energy to remove pigmentation, even out skin tone, reduce pore size and promote collagen growth. Skin will appear smoother and acne blemishes will diminish. Acne scarring may also be less apparent.
