Like most women, I grew up feeling insecure over the way my body looked. There were times where I had wished that I were taller, had longer limbs, a more curvier silhouette and well, the list could possibly go on. From Victoria Secret models to Korean pop celebrities showing off their enviable to die for bods in sexy, revealing outfits. It seems like we are forever bombarded with images from the media on how our bodies should look like.
And this insecurity as a teenager had resulted in my obsession with my appearance. Even though I was naturally skinny since young, it did not lessen the degree of insecurity I felt throughout my growing up years. I did not go on crash diets nor did I put myself through rigorous workouts, however, it did not mean that I was satisfied with the way I looked. Truth be told, there were instances where I had actually considered invasive aesthetic treatments such as liposuction but did not proceed due to the lack of courage. I was blinded by the illusion that a slimmer body, smaller waistline would increase my confidence and made myself more attractive.
However, after carrying a child for nine months, seeing my body go through various changes and then finally giving birth to a beautiful boy. Motherhood has definitely redefined my perception of my body. Being able to conceive, giving birth and breastfeeding my son is a testimony of what my body is capable of. I lost most of my pregnancy weight soon after giving birth, however, there were a few extra stubborn kilograms that decided to stay put even though my son is already three years old. I embrace my postpartum body now; extra kilograms, stretch marks and all.
But being proud of my body does not equate to having an excuse to continue piling up on the weight. And neither does exercising or going for slimming treatments mean that I hate my body. I am now at peace and accepting of my weight and the way that I look. I acknowledge that my self-esteem and self worth should not be tied to the figures on my weighing scale or whether I can fit into the smallest size available in the boutiques.
Having this new affirmation of self-acceptance has made me a happier person. I no longer look enviously at other women who have what the media defines as the perfect body. Motherhood is a wonderful experience, which I would not exchange for anything else in my life. Motherhood taught me to love my body for the way it is.