For the past 25years I have always hated one thing, which is my lower body. That was why I did liposuction right? LOL. And after going through such a scary experience, I still hate them. Mmm maybe no, I think I start to dislike them now.. from hate to dislike, I think this is a good improvement right?
I have slowly come to accept that this is my body, and no matter what I do to them, they are always going to be like this. My thighs did become smaller but this also comes with bad water retention, pain, and soreness every now and then. And yes the massage did help me to relieve the pain but because of the charges, I didn’t go back for about 9 months already.
I still don’t know if I'm still going back but I know it’s not my priority now.
Fashion wise, I really don’t care. I buy what I want to try or what I like. If it really looks ugly on me then at least I tried. But I’m thankful for my slim upper body and long hands because it helps to divert the attention on my legs off to the top.
THAT’S WHY I will never allow myself to get fat in the upper body department.
I also love culottes a lot because it can cover up my legs. :D that’s why I’ve been wearing a lot lately. But of course I still wear dresses. Dress is easy to wear and I can cross my legs without any restriction.
I used to think that people are staring at my fat legs whenever I am out alone, or to a new place, or taking the transport. But now I just try to stare ahead or use my phone and try not to think about how people think of me and my legs. This kinda works though. Most of the time it’s the brain that is giving the wrong signal.
When I look away or focus on my own things, I tend to push away these negative thoughts. But of course when the discomfort strikes I get very depressed. The discomfort is when my legs swell and becomes super heavy. Actually if I can’t feel the heaviness, I might not be so sad about it.
My happiest times would be when they are light, but this maybe happened only 2-3 days in a month. How I wish my legs are normal and don’t cause any problems to me and my life. Hais..
Anyway what I’m trying to say is that I accepted the shape and size, but I can’t accept the pain and the swelling. I had water retention since before liposuction and I think after the surgery, it got worse.
I think I drift off again.. So anyway moral of the story is, there’s nothing I can do if they are going to be like that. Since I’m going to live with my body for the rest of my life I might as well accept them. I am doing my best to embrace them because I want to be happy and focus on other things. There are so many things that I have given up just because of my legs.
I don't want my legs to determine what I can or can't wear. I don't want my legs to determine my personality. I don't want my legs to determine my destination.
Hence I'm going to work hard to change my mindset. And you are going to do the same too.