While some weird sex fetishes are just unacceptable, like pedophilia or uncontrolled exhibitionism, many are really harmless. When we find out about a sex fetish our partner has, it might be difficult for us to come to terms with them, especially if it’s something we don’t find sexy at all.
For an individual's personal sexual health as well as the relationship, it is imperative not to feel ashamed or suppress these fetishes. And the worst thing for someone who has revealed his la fetish, is to have a partner who lacks understanding. The following tips may be of help.
1. Get Enlightenment About The Subject:
Fetishes emerge in different individuals through different means. But it will be helpful to know how common your partner's unique fetish is. Often times, he’s not that weird after all. Read articles on sexual health and publications on psychology for broader understanding of the issue.
The first knowledge to have concerning fetish is its definition. It can be defined as a powerful sexual preoccupation with a material, object, or body part. The person does not necessarily have to need the material, object or body part to reach orgasm or become aroused, but the fetish is required for the individual to enjoy sexual activity to a maximum. Some persons with powerful fetishes might require the fetishes to be able to perform or finish.
2. Be Comfortable with it:
Discomfort, guilt and shame will not lend themselves to a meaningful conversation. You may feel better after you have become enlightened, if this is not the case, you may seek the help of a sex therapist to become comfortable with your partner's special desires. Or get into forums anonymously and discuss it with other people who face the same issues.
3. Your partner should give you more time to adjust:
Be comfortable, but do not become defensive about your stand on the issue. Your partner needs to understand that fetishes are difficult for persons without them to understand and should not expect you to agree to it immediately.
This may be challenging for you, hence you partner should take it easy and continue to communicate the fetish effectively with you.
4. Personalize the desire:
At times the inclusion of a particular fetish into sexual activity may cause you to feel that it does not matter that you are the one with whom your partner is playing out a desire with. It will be helpful for your partner to explain that just as you both generally like a particular position, the sexual act remains special to both of you when in those positions, the same also goes for the fetish. This is a special thing for the two of you to share together.
5. Vocalise it:
The thought process in your brain, verbalise them to your partner. If there’s something you don’t understand… or are curious about, just ask him. He’s the best person to talk to about this. It is also a great time to speak up about your own sex fetish, so that you can be open and honest as well. This will open up a whole new chapter in your couple bonding and intimacy.